In a previous post, I wrote about having come across numerous newspaper articles related to the murder of my biological mother. I was apprehensive to read them right away because the thought of reading the details was too depressing. Recently, I decided to read those articles, in full.
Via the Columbia Tribune’s archives, I managed to source some twenty articles. Nine of which were specifically about the murder. Two of those nine were the obituaries that ran in the same newspaper. However, I can’t be certain that I found all of the articles written on that subject. The articles are not all that lengthy. Not surprisingly, some even contained factual inconsistencies.
The murder took place one evening at my mother’s residence. She, along with some friends, had been partying. Not all of the guests were good friends, though. One in particular, Robert Wayne Lawson, was an abusive ex-boyfriend of my mother’s. At the time, Lawson was romantically involved with a woman named Marna Weber. According to one article (LINK), Lawson continued to show interest in rekindling a relationship with my mother. Although, it doesn’t seem the interest was mutual.
During the party, Marna Weber visited the house, uninvited. None of the partygoers inside the home reacted to her knocking on the front door. Consequently, Weber left, but returned a short time later. On her second visit, she was allowed inside the residence. After an undisclosed period of time, Weber left the party, but she would eventually come back, again. After arriving for the last time, she decided to make her move. That’s when she executed her plan to stab my mother to death. She was 38 years old on the day of her murder.
The articles contained little detail as to what transpired after the crime. One of the few facts available was that Lawson hid the murder weapon. For his part in the crime, Lawson was sentenced to ten years for evidence tampering. According to the police, he had a long criminal record, which aided in the passing down of that maximum sentence.
Marna Weber was sentenced to life in prison plus 30 years for first-degree murder. Had she not made a plea deal, she would have faced the death penalty. According to court reports, as she was being escorted out of the courtroom, Weber mumbled an apology to my family members. The apology wasn’t well accepted, and Weber became annoyed. As she walked by my aunt she was quoted as saying “I could slit your throat, too.”
The Emotions:
Empathy is what I feel when I think about my biological mother’s murder. I feel empathetic towards my sister Amy, my aunts and uncle, my grandparents, my cousins, my great aunts and uncle, and so on down the line. Whilst I cannot understand exactly how they felt, I certainly understand the feeling brought on by loss.
However, learning of her murder has not caused me insurmountable grief. I was only affected by a modicum of grief. I never had the opportunity to know my mother, and so I lack the personal connection required to truly feel that pain.
Disappointment is the primary emotion that I feel while pondering that crime. I feel that she and I could have benefited greatly by having a relationship. Alas, that chance will never again be had, and I’m stuck with a feeling of helplessness. There is nothing that can be done.
As for Weber and Lawson, I feel very little. They certainly deserved what they got, but I’m of the belief that justice ought to come in the form of an eye for an eye. Although, I suppose a life sentence really is meant as a death sentence.
Mostly, I’m just curious. I feel the need to visit Marna Weber in prison. This desire might very well be excessive, but it might help me to have a closer connection to the incident, and thus to my biological mother. What might I say or ask? Probably something along the lines of:
So, how awkward is this, huh? You’re on that side of the glass, and I’m on this side. And what about these phones? I mean, I bet everyone and their mother has been breathin’ and coughin’ all over ‘em. Speaking of mothers, did I mention that you stole my chance of ever knowing mine?
That last part was written jokingly, of course. I haven’t the faintest idea as to what I might say or ask, and I haven’t determined the benefits of such a strange encounter. So, that’s why I have yet to make a decision.
The Advice:
Looking back, the question must be asked. Did I wait too long to begin the search for my biological family? Perhaps, but there’s no going back now. I can’t go back to when my biological mother was still living. If I could have, and did, would that act have changed the course of events? Again, the answer is a resounding “perhaps.”
Perhaps my timing could have been better. Perhaps I could have met my mother. Perhaps you ought to heed my advice at this point; waiting isn’t the issue, but wanting is. I didn’t want to find my biological family badly enough to begin my search sooner. Consequently, I lost out on a relationship that will never present itself, again.
I don’t recall there being a book titled “The Best Time To Search For Your Biological Family Because You Never Know Who Might Die.” Trust me, I Googled it. For those adoptees that have yet to begin their search, there’s no benefit to second-guessing your timing. You will undoubtedly begin your search when you want it badly enough.
