The Story:
In a world were scientific findings seems to teeter back and forth on what is the accepted standard, I find myself pondering the origins of my personality. Some evidence seems to indicate that these traits are passed genetically from one generation to the next while other research shows that personalities are learned. So, I struggle to understand who or what has made me the way I am.
After finding my biological family last year, I’ve attempted to determine which of my traits are genetic and which have been learned. Are they all learned, or are they all genetic? My current theory is that my personality is simply a mish-mash of both. Although, I have no definitive answers, as of yet. Below are a couple of examples to help clarify my argument.
Growing up, I had always considered my ability to excel at reading, writing (syntax and diction), and my vocabulary to have been passed on to me by my adoptive father. He has always been a very well spoken and well-written person. Subsequently, I assumed that his skills must have rubbed off.
Well, that’s what I had thought until I came across some stories related to my birth mother. As multiple sources have confirmed, she was quite the grammar-queen. I try not to indulge in too much grammar and spelling correction of my peers. On occasion, though, I find myself doing just that. I know enough to speak American-English well, but I am by no means an expert. Perhaps these traits were both genetic and learned, but there’s another example to discuss.
Why do I view money as something that’s meant to be earned and burned rather than something to be made and saved? My adoptive parents seem to be great with money. Even my siblings seem to stay out of too much financial trouble. Why is it then that I always used to find myself on the path of hell-bent spending? As a youth, my adoptive father made me work for my money before I was old enough to get a real job. Is there a protein somewhere in my genetic make-up that has predisposed me to my current behavior? That question I cannot answer due to my lack of knowledge regarding my biological family’s financial habits.
My list of examples pertaining to this subject could probably fill-up a phone directory, but I believe that my point has been made. Despite the scientific arguments that personalities are either genetically linked or learned, I still have no definitive answers for myself. Undoubtedly, I will spend many more occasions pondering the origins of my personality. Personalities are tricky like that.
The Emotions:
To state my feelings plainly, I have no emotional preference as to where my personality traits originated. I’ve accepted myself, but I’m still curious. I simply find it entertaining to try and figure out why I act one way or another. Sides don’t need to be chosen, and feelings need not be hurt. I’m proud to be the way I am no matter which part of my family it comes from.
The Advice:
I suppose that if you were adopted then you’ll have some of the same concerns regarding your behavioral patterns. To be clear, there’s not a damn thing wrong with such questions. Some family members may take offense, but those are issues that can probably be solved through open discussions. If you’re not content with who you’ve become then you’re probably attempting to be someone you’re not, and I have no doubt that your family only cares about who you truly are.
- Andrew
