The Story:
A few months ago, I decided to begin searching for more information regarding the circumstances surrounding my biological mother’s murder. The most logical starting points were the local news outlets in the city where the murder took place. My adoptive father had completed a search of his own, and that’s really what got me started.
Eventually, I ended up in the online archives of the Columbia Tribune. My search took the good part of that morning, but I came away with a wealth of information. In all, I managed to locate twenty articles. Although, not all of those articles were specifically about my mother’s murder (I’ll write about the other articles in future posts). The remaining articles were about my biological grandmother and grandfather, my biological sister, and one of my biological aunts.
Initially, I did not complete a full read through of every article. I began skimming the first few about my mother’s murder. Unfortunately, I became quite uncomfortable reading the details of the crime. So, I saved the articles for further reading at a later date.
While skimming those articles, I noticed that the same journalist had written the majority of them. My inquisitiveness led me to contact him shortly thereafter. I wrote in the subject line of the email, “Seeking answers about my biological family.” Below are excerpts from my initial email:
My name is Andrew… I just recently set out to find my biological origins, and I was able to track my family back to Columbia. You may recall my biological mother, my aunt, and my grandmother. I have been searching the Tribune archives for articles relating to their lives, and I noticed that many of them were written by you.
My name is Andrew… I just recently set out to find my biological origins, and I was able to track my family back to Columbia. You may recall my biological mother, my aunt, and my grandmother. I have been searching the Tribune archives for articles relating to their lives, and I noticed that many of them were written by you.
I must apologize since I really don't know what I am ultimately seeking by contacting you. I suppose that I figured you might have some more insight into their lives… I now know that I have a sister, Amy. She and I had the chance over this past Christmas to meet for a few hours down in Florida… I would very much appreciate it if you could humor me with some more info that I may not find in any of the related news articles.
It took only a few hours before I received the journalist’s reply.
Andrew,
Wow. What a surprise. Haven't thought about the Hobans in years. Such an interesting family that I happened upon…
I really didn't know Geri hardly at all, other than what I found out at her funeral. Most of my time was in talking to Monica, and Margaret, a bit…
Your grandmother was a spitfire. Just full of energy despite life's struggles, and full of so much rich, detail about her unusual life...
How long has your search for information been going on?
Thanks for reaching out to me. Be glad to help if I can.
We sent a few more emails back and forth. I mentioned to him that I would be blogging about the search for my biological family. He seemed interested, and asked if I would like to be interviewed for his column. My answer was ‘yes,’ of course. That was the gist of our initial conversation, and it would be a little more than a month before he and I spoke again.
The Emotions:
The appreciation and love I have for my adoptive father has no end. He’s always helped me in my struggles. Had he not reminded me to search for those news articles, I may never have known about the vast wealth of information that had been published.
When I began skimming the first few articles written about my mother’s murder, I didn’t ever think that I would have felt so uncomfortable. I mean, the articles were just made up of words, right? Well, I found those words to be very disturbing. Since then, I haven’t even looked at the articles. I’m not really sure what I’m waiting for. It’s not as if the story or its outcome are going to change.
As for the journalist at the St. Louis Post Dispatch, I was elated that he had written so many thoughtful articles about my biological family. I had no idea how to begin my initial email to him, though. I felt slightly uncomfortable contacting him, but I really had nothing to lose. The satisfaction I felt from his curiosity about my story was immense. It’s not every day that strangers take an interest in my family’s life.
The Advice:
When it comes to data searches, I have found the web to be the most valuable tool (second to my uncle I suppose). Although, not all adoptees are created equal with regards to the information available to them. How many families can say that there were almost two dozen news articles written about them? I think I may have gotten lucky.
Had it not been for these articles, I would not have access to a third party’s perspective on my biological family. The seedy details may have gone unrealized. Heck, the positive details may have gone unrealized. My recommendation is that every adoptee makes an effort to search the web for answers. The search may take awhile, or it may be quick like mine. Perhaps the search won’t turn up anything, but then again it might turn up more than ever imagined. There’s no right or wrong answer here, people. If you don’t make the effort, though, you’ll always wonder what could still be out there waiting to be found. Don’t allow any regrets.
- Andrew
