The Story:
The next phone call from my uncle came a week later. As the conversation began, Henry explained that he had received some good leads in the past seven days, and that he would continue to dig further. We chatted back and forth for a few minutes about this and that, but the subject matter of the call was pretty mundane. When the call eventually ended, I went back to work.
The end of that workday finally came, and I quickly headed home for some R&R. On my way inside the building, my cell phone began to ring. I answered the call. It was my uncle, again, and I thought to myself, 'what could have happened since this morning?' Henry explained that he had just spoken with my biological aunt!
Henry was able to provide me with some interesting tidbits regarding my aunt and some other immediate family members. I learned that this particular aunt was one of four siblings, and that she, with her husband and two children, lived in Missouri. Come to find out, they actually still lived in the city where I was born and attended college! I was already aware that I had been born in Columbia, but knowing that part of my biological family had been living there that entire time was a huge surprise.
Now, finding out that I had an aunt, and two first cousins, was huge news, but I was not prepared for the next thing my uncle shared. He explained quickly that my biological mother was no longer alive. He had no details on that subject, but he wanted to make sure that I was aware of that fact.
The other half of the story was, get this, that I had a biological sister! Again, my uncle really didn’t have any other information regarding that part of the story. Below are some of the other tidbits that my uncle shared with me:
- My grandparents were originally from Ireland
- My mother’s name was Geraldine
- My father’s name was Randy
- My biological father was married and had other children, my half-siblings
The Emotions:
Ultimately, I was dumbfounded. I really didn’t know what to think after I got off of the phone with my uncle. I remember resting my face in my palms. I was so overwhelmed that my body began to tremble. I simply had not been prepared for such news. Especially when it came within such a short period of time.
Though, I was invigorated by the fact that I had such close Irish roots. How cool is that?! I had wondered for a while if I had a connection with some place outside of the United States. It was very strange to learn that my feelings had been correct.
With regards to my biological mother, I was very disappointed that she was no longer living. I was very confused about her death, and it was very unfortunate that I didn’t have any details on the subject. There was a rush of questions and concerns that ran through my head when my uncle told me that part. How did she die? Was it health related? If so, was I afflicted with the same health issue? It’s a very strange feeling to think back on all of the times I had spent wondering about my biological family. I spent many a private moment contemplating who my parents would end up being. Did I have any siblings? Were they super stars?!
Even though I learned that my biological parents were not together, and that my mother was deceased, there was still a silver lining. I had a real biological sibling, and I was ecstatic! What did she look like? What was her name? Was I older or younger? Question after question came flooding into my head, and that only added to my confusion.
Even though the news that I had received from my uncle was pretty mixed, I took it all in stride. Although, learning of my biological sister’s existence brought up a whole new issue…how do I tell my adoptive siblings?! I was nervous to say anything, at first. I didn’t want them to think that they were going to be “second-best” compared to my biological sister. As far as family goes, they are my real family. How was I going to integrate everyone without stepping on any toes? I had never even considered this issue.
The Advice:
Take everything in stride. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this particular event it’s that you ought to not get too far ahead of yourself. Take your newfound knowledge and nurture it. Don’t allow yourself to get too sidetracked with all of the what-ifs. In time, you’ll eventually get the details that will help you develop a single cohesive story about your origins. Until then, though, just take each story as it comes, and try not to blow anything out of proportion.
- Andrew
