The Story:
Shortly after learning of my adoption, I had a bit of an epiphany. I recalled myself as a youngster in my third-grade classroom during a session of “show and tell.” My presentation, though, was not the enlightening part. The story focused on Elizabeth, a fellow classmate. I remembered that she wore large-framed glasses just like mine. Nerd alert, right?!
Elizabeth stood in front of our class and began telling the story of her adoption. I honestly don’t recall a thing from her story, but I do remember the students’ reactions. Not her reaction, though. The rest of the class, including myself, ridiculed her continuously after that day. We simply considered her to be different from us, and she had unknowingly opened up Pandora’s box. This poor little girl just wanted to share something near and dear to her life. What she received in return was shameful, but not at all surprising.
The Emotions:
That story made me cringe. It still has that affect. I understand that children don’t have the experience necessary to always realize the consequences of their actions. However, I can’t really forgive my actions. I could not believe that I had stood in front of her, and tortured her because I thought she was so different. It’s baffling how wrong I had been. Would I have reacted the same way if I had known about my own adoption? Would I have stood up to those others who found it necessary to ridicule her? I’ll never know, but I will always remember.
The Advice:
Regarding this story, my advice is for the adopted. Do what you must to better understand your situation. I usually have pretty tough skin, and I often times find myself ignoring big issues if there aren’t any real solutions. It may not be wise to set aside your concerns regarding your adoption. The more action you take now will better prepare you for the time when you decide to begin your search.
- Andrew
