The Story:
Shortly after my first email conversation with the Post Dispatch columnist, Tony Messenger, I started developing this blog. As with any online blogging endeavor, I began brainstorming article topics, and searching for the right blog layout. Upon finding what I wanted, I customized everything to my liking. Then, taking the article topics that I had stockpiled, I began writing out the posts. By the time I was ready to launch this blog, there were ten articles written and ready to go.
Once I launched, it was time to begin marketing the site. I informed friends and family, as well as advertising via social media. Tony even received a message about the blog’s debut. At that point, he decided it was time to schedule an interview for his column.
After the interview concluded, Tony sent an email in which he informed me that he had adopted his two eldest sons some years before. Apparently, he had intended to mention that during our phone interview. One of his sons in particular, Bradley, did end up meeting his biological father. Tony even pointed me to one of his past articles in which he divulges his experiences as an adoptive father, and the emotional issues involved in such an endeavor. He provided me with all of that information. Yet, I never even had to ask.
Here’s a link to his article.
The Emotions:
I commended Tony for his courage to adopt. He had made a very powerful decision; one that not everyone can make. The thing is, I never even had to ask him if he had any personal experience with adoption. He simply let the facts loose. That is a phenomenon which has been taking place quite frequently, of late, and it makes me feel proud each and every time it occurs.
The Advice:
Tony’s story is a great example of how the conversation about adoption can be started. Since I began the search for my biological family, numerous friends, even strangers, have felt obliged to tell me of their experiences with child adoption. They had never mentioned anything before, but they felt comfortable bringing their stories to me because I had started the “conversation” with them by being vocal about my own adoption.
Don’t be afraid to speak of your adoption, or of someone else’s. That’s my primary piece of advice this week. The more people you talk with the more comfortable others will become. In the U.S., talking about the institution of child adoption is still relatively taboo. Some parents don’t want to let on about their youthful indiscretions. While some adopted children seem to think that they are outsiders. Whatever the reason, keeping your story to yourself will only serve to distance you more from those with whom you desire to connect.
- Andrew
